today i die

i am leaving.  Whoops!  I’m back.  Shit, that was fast.  Did I already write this?

this is confusing.  there’s no joy to be had in time.  we must run from it.  if we adapt our bodies to night/day, light/dark chaos it could possibly save the species.  we must adapt our enjoyments or risk losing enjoyment as a motivator.  human creativity is suffocating itself to death, we must fight soon.  time is a motherfucker not to be trifled with, but, how did it get this power?  i smell an oppressor.  i’ll be first and zealous in the slaying of the defenders of time.   defenders of quantity and measurement.  they are the evilest, vilest and most sinister lot, those, while they undo our creative instinct, molding it with time.

fight this bullshit oppressor however you can.  write fiction on office time.  have everyone on your block get night jobs and have bar b-ques after work at 7am.  get a tivo.  sell your tivo.  make your own bread.  spazz out about nothing in the most loving way you can and then hide in the bathroom.  find peace in rejecting zen.  make samyama on the mundane.

Most important, give yourself a chance.

blogging – cancer link confirmed

In a report never published due to legal blockades erected by wordpress.org, 80% of cancer patients who were known bloggers recovered when taken off-line.  These findings were then analyzed and confirmed by the firm Hobbler, Kejabs and Rice who also noted that the patients who did not recover may have been doomed by their “mental blogging,” indicating that even the drive to blog could be potentially fatal. 

Dr. Ayun Furl of the University of Minnesota’s analytical chemistry department, who was involved with the study, says the evidence is scientific and wholly trustworthy. 

“It was perhaps the most objective and thorough study conducted in the history of science.”  He stated in an interview late this July.  “400 bloggers of various genres and levels of readership who had developed brain tumors were kept in an isolated community, no computers allowed.  We let them read as much classic literature and non-fiction as they cared, but they were not allowed to journal or compose any string of words in first person.”

The suppressed report clearly details what appears to be a rapid and full recovery, in some cases only two weeks after the ability to blog had been taken away.  Friends and relatives of the bloggers who were unaware of the cancer or the program indicated that they noticed other positive changes in their loved ones, such as improved discussion habits, decreased pickyness, and a sharp decline in whining.

back to school

Don’t read this if you’re not a voyeur, it’s going to be very uninteresting and journal-ish.  I may just be documenting this for my own decompression’s sake.

Mondays are going to be very tough for the next 13 weeks.  I learned that today.  I (should) get up at 6:45, work until 2:30, go to classes from 3-8:30, and then brave the bus or take the not-so-scenic 40 minute walk home.  I chose walking.  Now I am finally relaxed in my ‘fort’ with a glass of wine and some herbal platitude feeling the desire to write but not necessarily have to think about it.  I figured imnotme was the place to do just that.

So, this semester I am taking Intro To Writing Fiction and Asian Philosophy.  Both conceptual walks in the park, though I have been additionally blessed by two extroardinarily competent instructors who are also both gifted facilitators and lectors.  This, of course, translates into more challenging work, and more challenging work.  Not what I had hoped from the course titles.  I figured I could doodle my way to a 4.0 for the term.

Oh well.  A. and I have been living in the aforementioned ‘fort’, which is our office turned snuggle-pen via streaming netflix movies on my computer aimed at the bed that was not always in the middle of our office.  It’s a cramped, but cozy place.  So cozy we even watched 2 seasons of Family Ties.  And liked it.  This is also the only room in our ginormous apartment that has air-conditioning, which neither of us are huge proponents of, though it’s aided the desperate-crack-addict appetite we’ve had for fits of snuggling and various other pillow-and-blanket oriented tasks.

Getting high does improve both my writing, and my reading.  I’m sure of it.  Hehe.

I’m going to abandoned this now and go let my friend in the house.

NEWS (of the weird?)

Hey you voyeuristic digital turd paddles!

?

I am starting a new medication (on day 2 now) that was invented for depression but is now being prescribed off-label (in the US) for insomnia.  This is odd, since insomnia is not a condition, but a symptom.  Anyhow, I have been battling sleeplessness since I can remember, and finally gave in and tried a drug.  I am chronicling the experience as a public service and case study since there is MUCH to learn about this drug and its effects and interactions.  Each day I will document my diet, prior night’s sleep, other drugs taken, exercize, personal circumstances and any other relevant information to those curious about, or prospecting the use of Trazodone. 

trazodonediaries.wordpress.com 

I hope someone will get some use out of this.  I plan to keep it up regardless of readership for my own (and my doctor’s) information/records.  Pardon my tagging this post with unrelated material (or, “loose-tagging”) I just want to get as many people in my situation hip to the questions and concerns about this drug as possible.

drunken archive 3ld12-z

friend: Omg that tasted like heaven.

imnotme: So… let me get this straight.  You’ve been to heaven, and the comparisons you make now that you’re back are to things that taste like it?

imnotme:  Or better stated: Omg that tasted like Socrates.

nudism

So, I hardly remember writing the post I made last night, but I must say… damn.  I feel like I taught myself something that I’m still learning.  Which brings me to nakedness.  I quoted Thoreau in my last post in regards to clothing, and it wasn’t until I reread the post in its entirety that I fully understood why I had.

Technology as I am referring to it here is akin to clothing in the following sense: that technology necessarily manipulates nature to an effect.

With this definition, and I believe it is a reasonable one, we can promptly draw a line between nature and creativity.  It is almost as though our one natural human gift (creativity) is also possibly our foreseeable demise, for with creativity comes manipulation, and manipulation always compromises that which has been changed.  Therefore, we are destroying the earth because our creativity has lead us to manipulate nature (via industrial uses of wood, livestock herding and agriculture, among others) to attain a perceived value, but it has always been a wasteful pursuit that has introduced to us the most complex pyramid scheme ever conceived of.

The same applies, I think, to “true” nudism.  I can see it now, as I have never seen it before, as a regression to uncomplicated interaction.  Let’s remove the artifacts of our achievements and just be naked humans who display outwardly nothing more than our own bodies, and let our discourse and cooperation make our bond.

oh these modern days

I have never lived in any time period but this one; remarkable, I know, but I have studied other time periods a lot and I have come to a conclusion.  That is, I have realized that we are not any further from the food chain per se but have created a new predator that even we cannot control: industry.

Think about it.  How many people died in the making of the Panama Canal?  Lots.  Lots and lots.  A staggering number when you consider it was just a project and not a war.  27,500 estimated deaths in the name of easier shipping!  Nowadays OSHA tries to ensure that dangerous work is either eliminated or at least regulated and compensated, but cancer is on the rise too.  Cancer is not a disease, it is a desperate attempt of the body to move biologically destructive particles introduced to your bloodstream into one location.  When this storage effort has exhausted itself you die from the flood of contaminated cells that spill out into your body and clog in your vital organs.

Cancer and the birth of technology are most likely bedfellows.

Even my own death, should it be at an old age and after having lived a “full life” or raised a healthy family will be too early when you consider that humans in developed nations lead a mockery of a life.  We (nearly) voluntarily sell our selves into slavery to the industries that promise to increase our ability to consume.  Why?

Thoreau said it beautifully when he stated in Economy: “Beware of all enterprises that require new clothing.”

Yeah, I think about that in my quest for a new job.  I applied to a position within my company that requires fancier dress than I am now accustomed.  It is so absolutely arbitrary.  It’s as if to say that, because this job is more highly compensated, you must display this fact so that when others see you, they will not associate your position in the company with that of a lesser-compensated coworker.

Why?  I challenge anyone to come up with a reason that cannot be easily thrown out.

I just realized I am a fucking hypocrite

So should you.

Hi EVERYONE, GET IN HERE!!

I would just love to tell all of you all about this thing about me!!!  I would love for you to read it and think, MY GOD that’s one honest and eloquent person.  I can’t believe he’s willing to not only let us into his dark closet corner but also share his flashlight!

Well, take this:

Turns out, I am not that fucking interesting.  So, back to business.  The business of me being mildly intrigued about who could possibly be reading this, and also knowing that, whoever they are, there’s actually something here for them should they take the time to find it.

Stay tuned.

Blogging News

I have been asked by the creator of  The Nice Feminist to contribute to their new blog.  I am happy to support and contribute to it.  I also think it’s a unique opportunity as a heterosexual male to speak at the (relative) forefront of a feminist community.  This blog was founded on the principal that group-think afflicted feminist blogs (which are increasingly the most popular breed) are creating a vibe of alienation and friction with modern schools of progressive thought which seek to recognize that fighting sex-based oppression no longer needs to be justified in that it clearly has and does exist, yet also seeking to recognize that a new generation of social thinking is on the rise, and feminsts are not quite hip to their realities.

I gaurantee it as a good read, if not thought provoking.