quotable quotes

Firstly, is the phrase ‘quotable quotes’ copyrighted?  I know Reader’s Digest has a piece that runs in every issue titled the same, which is where I got it, but I wasn’t sure;


the following quotes make it to blog worthy status from the past weekend:

“I just laughed beer onto my face”  and  “Look honey, if you can poop on the bedroom floor then I can bleed in the kitchen.”

Ok, now, presumably some people will read that first quote and think” Whoa, I am going to need an explanation of that If I’m not to think nutters on you”; don’t worry, I only laughed a little bit of beer on my face.  You see, I had been taking a [sip, drink, swig, gulp] of something beerish when A. made me laugh, like she so often does.  Since my head was tilted back, and since laughter makes air flow outward from me, I laughed beer onto my face.  It’s very fun to use one specific verb to describe a semi-disjointed cause and effect.  Almost how I find it adorable when A. says “I like Risk, let’s drink about it.”

The second quote speaks for itself and is maybe too boring to really have included here, but hey, negotiating the free release of bodily excretions can be a tricky business, as you can see.*  If I want to poop on the bedroom floor then I am asked to tolerate blood in the kitchen, it’s a fair compromise but also a bit of a catch 22 as neither party actually wants either activity to occur.  Therefore, arguing for a right you don’t want and negotiating its cost can be mentally and emotionally taxing.  Say I do not wish to microwave my leftovers but would prefer to use the stove, the conversation would be a bit like this:

“Honey, I wish to microwave my leftovers as I see fit, and without  intervention or the need for consent”

Well darling, if you can microwave your leftovers as you please then I can listen to Offspring.”

I think I’ve made my case.  How will these two ever decide what to do?  You have to admit, not wanting to listen to offspring and having it lead to listening to Offspring is a matter of delicacy.  God I hate Offspring.
*You are supposed to understand the irony, if you do not, I should give you a bowl of pee.


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August 2008
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