not that i lied

it’s just that it tears me apart every time i think about it.

to know that it’s being remembered/told that way.  to know that there is nothing i can do short of a general upheaval that nobody but me would benefit from.  to know that my identity is distorted, my name slandered and character called to question.  to think they could go on operating as though this was an acceptable result.  i am saddened beyond description.  there is no peace from this.  it is like a cancer that won’t progress or relapse.  it just sits there feeding off of its own creation threatening to spread but you can’t ignore it or fight it.

drown it?  sure.  smoke it away?  works day-to-day.  but in between escapes it is always there dragging me down.  ruining what could have been a good day.  tainting what could be a fine evening.  bringing hostility and confusion to situations that never warranted it.

i have no recourse.


1 Response to “not that i lied”

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