For the duration of this post I am declaring my blog an emotion free zone.  This is because the idea of suicide is generally met with an automatic and severe emotional response, which I have been thinking about since the recent news of two entire families dying of apparent “murder-suicide” events in which the husband takes out his wife and children, and finally himself.

Most people are reacting to this in horror, as is well warranted I suppose.  However, I question the typical connotations surrounding an individual’s decision to… be done, as it were.  The recent events I am talking about are not proven to be what I am terming economicide, which could be classified as a family’s failure to make ends meet, with little hope for the future, and the desire to be free of such a huge burden.  But they seem to be.  Furthermore, this desire to be free of such burdens conflicts with the desire to remain a family, ultimately leading to the conclusion that you could all be together in death.

Now, to be clear, I don’t personally see myself as able to turn a gun on my own children, but it’s important, I think, when it comes to humans, to leave an exception for every possiblity.  So, let’s take this from the ant farm perspective:

what is so upsetting and wrong about suicide?  Why does it send a resounding bolt of fear throughout all fragments of society?  True, upon hearing of the suicide of any person I know I immediately feel shocked, sad… but for what?  Someone wasn’t having a good go at it and decided to call it a day.  Sometimes trying to finish a marathon can kill you in the process, but then it’s declared valorous.

Objectively, if a person finds this existence to be either too painful or too tedious, shouldn’t they have the right to snuff it?

I think so.  I’d like to think that I could hasten my own exit without devastating my friends and family emotionally, but maybe that leads us to my final thought: the art of suicide-noting.  If properly executed, I think the suicide note could be the perfect thing to take the edge off the situation. If I were to convincingly and accurately state my case for leaving, all the while making it perfectly clear that my departure was not in sadness, necessarily, or that a lingering sadness would just be unfit for the situation, shouldn’t that be enough to say “ok, he knew what he was doing, made a clear decision and acted upon.”

No, somehow it doesn’t flush.

But anyway, food for thought.


8 Responses to “suicide”

  1. 1 okathleen
    January 30, 2009 at 7:42 am

    What? You’re not talking about suicide. You’re talking about MURDER. Infanticide carried out by inadequate selfish egomaniacal men…


  2. 2 imnotme
    January 30, 2009 at 7:53 am

    That very well may be, but I’m just imagining it as though the husband and wife made the decision together.

    Also, you must have missed my disclaimer at the very beginning of the post, and also the point.

  3. 3 okathleen
    January 30, 2009 at 8:24 am

    What, your disclaimer about suicide being an emotion free zone. Hilarious.

    And sorry, what was the point I missed?


  4. 4 imnotme
    January 30, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    you have caused a syntax error. please reboot and try again, this time, just to see how zany it feels, try finding the argument of something you read, and then, only then, respond.

  5. January 30, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    Well, I promise not to be as passionate with my response to this. I have an argument to your theory. Although some people may feel that they want to call it quits today, it may not be how they feel in a month or a year from this point. And, yes it is a personal decision, never looked at it from that point of view. But, when do the children in these families have the decision to end their lives. I am pretty sure that the discussion was not made with them, nor the agreement. I can almost see the innocence and confusion in their eyes when looking into their parents eyes the moment the trigger is pulled.

  6. 6 erintothemax
    January 31, 2009 at 10:57 am

    “IF properly executed, I think the suicide note could be the perfect thing to take the edge off the situation.” At first this line made me laugh, but then I realized that in fact you use the final four paragraphs to completely shift the paradigm around murder-suicide. So in effect your example illustrates that, perhaps, those who commit murder-suicide are using the body of another as a suicide note, or a reason for killing themselves, and at that point which is chicken, and which egg? Of course it is about a miserable existence, and instead shifting one’s family from feeling sad for failure to intercede, to instead feel horrific emotions for which there aren’t easy knee-jerk reactions to pick from the grab-bag: I created a monster, but at least it’s gone.

  7. 7 imnotme
    January 31, 2009 at 12:50 pm


    That is essentially right on.

  8. 8 imnotme
    February 2, 2009 at 2:27 am


    agreed, teh children’s lack of choice here is a tragedy, that is if you view the loss of life/gain of death as something to be grieved. I guess I just see it as a pretty significant and somewhat romantic statement to the world to, in a sense, remove an entire family from society because the society the family is trying to exist within is so… well, fucked.

    I don’t want anyone to murder anyone. If dealt with from a context of human emotional reality I would never advocate such behavior, but taken from the “ant-farm” perspective, I think the message being sent by these events may be profound.

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