Archive for October, 2009

15
Oct
09

today i die

i am leaving.  Whoops!  I’m back.  Shit, that was fast.  Did I already write this?

this is confusing.  there’s no joy to be had in time.  we must run from it.  if we adapt our bodies to night/day, light/dark chaos it could possibly save the species.  we must adapt our enjoyments or risk losing enjoyment as a motivator.  human creativity is suffocating itself to death, we must fight soon.  time is a motherfucker not to be trifled with, but, how did it get this power?  i smell an oppressor.  i’ll be first and zealous in the slaying of the defenders of time.   defenders of quantity and measurement.  they are the evilest, vilest and most sinister lot, those, while they undo our creative instinct, molding it with time.

fight this bullshit oppressor however you can.  write fiction on office time.  have everyone on your block get night jobs and have bar b-ques after work at 7am.  get a tivo.  sell your tivo.  make your own bread.  spazz out about nothing in the most loving way you can and then hide in the bathroom.  find peace in rejecting zen.  make samyama on the mundane.

Most important, give yourself a chance.

15
Oct
09

blogging – cancer link confirmed

In a report never published due to legal blockades erected by wordpress.org, 80% of cancer patients who were known bloggers recovered when taken off-line.  These findings were then analyzed and confirmed by the firm Hobbler, Kejabs and Rice who also noted that the patients who did not recover may have been doomed by their “mental blogging,” indicating that even the drive to blog could be potentially fatal. 

Dr. Ayun Furl of the University of Minnesota’s analytical chemistry department, who was involved with the study, says the evidence is scientific and wholly trustworthy. 

“It was perhaps the most objective and thorough study conducted in the history of science.”  He stated in an interview late this July.  “400 bloggers of various genres and levels of readership who had developed brain tumors were kept in an isolated community, no computers allowed.  We let them read as much classic literature and non-fiction as they cared, but they were not allowed to journal or compose any string of words in first person.”

The suppressed report clearly details what appears to be a rapid and full recovery, in some cases only two weeks after the ability to blog had been taken away.  Friends and relatives of the bloggers who were unaware of the cancer or the program indicated that they noticed other positive changes in their loved ones, such as improved discussion habits, decreased pickyness, and a sharp decline in whining.