Archive for December, 2009


Jiftus Rhithalixe

Hi reader.  You are wondering what that title means.   It’s complicated.

On the one hand, there is no ready explanation of the phrase, because it is jibberish.  However, something very important is happening right now in our world that may only be summed up as such; and therefore befitting such a name.  Jiftus Rithalixe could possibly express the notion that a nation’s most accurate news reporting is coming from the comedy “sector,” or it could refer to the silly idea of having national level debates about religion.  Why stop there?  It could also refer to the fact that right now it is easier to make money as a swindler than a legitimate entity.  Don’t believe me?  Go to any freelancing site that caters to writers and tell me what the number one job out there is.

Know what, I’ll spare you the trouble.  After weeks of desperately searching for writing jobs I can tell you the hands-down number one: re-writing copyrighted articles ala human thesaurus until the article passes the test of plagiarism software algorithms.  Writers are shitting out hundred of thousands of “rewritten” articles every day for the sole purpose of linking websurfers back to their shitty product (think knock-off herbal remedies and potentially harmful dieting schemes).  They call this Search Engine Maximization.

On one hand, great, someone found a way to create reliable internet search using scales of relevance.  That’s a novel and good idea in its inception, but I should inform you that this method being adopted by the internet community at large is not only criminal, but largely developed by people who knew they could sell ten tons of crap placebocuticals to nimrods slapping their mice all over the global commerce control buttons; wontonly ordering BOXES OF THEIR OWN MENTAL WASTE.

While some of the linked examples are simply funny, the others speak a horrible truth about our culture.  For example, did you see the one about the person who just sold “antenna balls” online and made f’ing millions?  What people don’t know is that there is an entire digital mechanism driving this e-commerce (as business people like to think of it) that is hell bent on getting your Doritos scarfing ass to fork over your small amounts of money until you have mountains of garbage to add to the already terrible garbage problem we HAVE NOT ADEQUATELY ADDRESSED!

Jiftus Rhithalixe.


Let’s have the next era, shall we?

A woman recently said, in my presence “All of these modern characters are so pathetic.” (referring to the current-era masculine gender norms)  I want to give you time with that before continuing.  Because the context is irrelevant, it’s the generational perception of the archetypal citizen of a given, let’s say, decade, that is really at play here.  Somewhat like the recent top 40 radio song inquiring as to the whereabouts of ‘the cowboys,’ this sentiment outlines a buddhist perspective that I feel is very relevant for our modern characters.  There is a perspective within buddhism that suggests our reality is not so much linear, but “dependently co-arisen,” or, if you will allow me to butcher eastern thought with my western conception of it: we are walking as we instantly come into existence.  Our path becomes as we create it.
All of these modern characters, be they laymen or politicians; literary devices or documentary subjects, are so pathetic because Rambo and Barbi wore us the hell out!
Now, it is simultaneously necessary and obsolete for me to quickly point out that I am a Generation X-er.  It is 2009 and I am 29.  No kids, no career.  Ambitions are numerous and fleeting.  Money slips through my fingers like credit card receipts getting tossed into the gas-station garbage to make the car tidier.
The reason it is necessary is because I am writing about a progressive movement that is either going to happen quite soon, or is woefully overdue or even missed outright.  The reason it is obsolete, is because I believe that it is one movement in a long, seemingly fated string of many.
There are no pioneers right now (cowboys, inventors, warlords, philosophers, “new penises”) because the riverbeds worn into the ground for us by history no longer present us with genuinely profound challenges.  I do not mean that our current global and social challenges are not profound, rather, that the issues they represent are “old hat.”  It is boring that the international global community has been so struck by ethically inept and dull-witted leadership.  It is boring and it takes too long to take over their offices.  It will be necessary for a major, and by major I mean nearly absolute, upheaval.  I know this because the reason I am writing this book, is because I know that there are millions of me out there, who just feel like they’re failing alone.  We’re all so afraid of MTV-style melodrama that we appear to be fine, but each of us would join the revolution, if it came to us.  Which is the number one problem to solve at the onset of any major revolution: who will champion it?  How can it be organized?  What will the repercussions be?  Is it arrogant to cause such an upheaval just because we are disillusioned?
I’m not going to hop on my horse just yet to announce the arrival of the Redcoats, because it’s 2009 and I have the internet.  However, am I waiting for you to start the revolution we both want, or are you waiting for me?  Tying this very quickly and awkwardly back into the buddhist perspective I believe can help us right now: you and I (us being the future revolutionaries we’re destined to become) are at an impass, which is the next nearest point to true freedom.  If we desire true freedom enough, we will both make the move eventually.  However, some of us will have to be inconvenienced at first, who is willing?

Tired of Depression

No melodrama.  I mean it.  I’m bored.  So bored that it’s time to swing the other way and pray to ring the bell this time.

I’m founding a religion right this fucking second and it’s not a joke:  Me.

Sounds… ethnocentric, nihilistic, egomaniacal, self-centered, jaded, othering, ladi blah-di dah.  -Check.  But let’s not pretend that self interest is the enemy here.  That is lazy.  The enemy is ‘extreme.’  Extreme, however, in the progressively linear sense.  That is, we must progress towards the nearest extreme, but the furthest extreme is disruptive.

To further illustrate my point I will make an analogy.

Two monks in a Chinese Buddhist monastery were charged with ringing a bell so that the other monks would know it was time for morning meditation.  They approached the bell tentatively with the mallet they were given.  Standing in front of the bell they argued briefly over who should strike it.

“I shall strike it softly, in caution of being too loud.”  Said Ancestor Ch’i.

“I shall strike with force, in caution they will not hear!”  Said Young Yen.

Ancestor Ch’i struck first.  Two monks heard, but the others were too far from the soft strike to wake from it.  Then Young Yen took a shot which rang out so fiercely that even a few villagers nearby woke from it, and they came to the monastery to inquire.  The villagers came to love monastic life and proved loyal members of the school, each contributing by his own gift.  Young Yen met Ancestor Ch’i in the garden one afternoon and gloated, “You see old man?  Harder strike brings more to the stream.”  And he left Ancestor Ch’i among the garden plants and fish to ponder his way.

After some time, Young Yen’s bell ringing wasn’t bringing more people, and they desperately needed help with work to sustain their growing school.  Ancestor Ch’i thought about Young Yen’s desire to strike harder and went to speak with him.

“Young Yen, your way has brought fortune to us, but it is time to stop ringing the bell so loud.  We must only ring to wake those who are here for now.”

“We need more to help work, I will strike harder.”  Young Yen replied.  Ancestor Ch’i was very displeased and made him a solemn promise: “Young Yen, you think more is good without looking at the merits of growth or the consequences of the next extreme.  You will break the bell one day and be unable to ring it at all, and without it, you will die.”

Millennea later, individualism set in, coupled with political idealism, and there are good or bad ways to argue your side of any given argument.  So here’s the thing: you are the only source of control over your actions.  This is your one inalienable human right, period.  No government protects it, and none could attack it.  The closest this right comes to have ever being violated is murder, or ending another person’s right to choose.  Killing them, not killing them.

If this is the one universally recognized right of man (and I am even speaking of those incarcerated for violating social standards, for they, being locked up, are robbed only of the variable choices they would have ‘outside’), then the next rational step would be to treat the nature of the following choice.  That is, one could say, “Now that I have recognized the power of my very first freedom, I must also learn to recognize the limits of it, for power can grow beyond the realm of sight and hurt innocent people down the line.”

So I suppose this “religion” is really just a formal naming of what secular humanists tend to as a foundation.  I’m always really excited about what I’m thinking until I’ve written it out and see how obvious it all was in the first place.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14 other followers

December 2009
« Oct   Mar »