Archive for the 'imnotresponsible' Category


i hate yourself

if you do not join me in revolutionary efforts to steer America straight you can go fuck yourself.  I am the other.


a letter to my fellow Minnesotans

My Fellow Minnesotans,

I love you.  I do.  That is why I am so compelled to plead with you to please… please step outside of your religious views and help those of us who are fighting for what matters to us all.  I am well versed in all major world religions, and I know that none of them teach hatred and intolerance.  Why then, are you allowing yourselves to be swindled by politicians who feed you messages of hatred and intolerance?  We have a pretty nice state.  Minnesota has a lot to offer, and I have never regretted living here even after having visited most of the continental U.S.  Coming home is always a blessing to me, but lately I cannot help but feel some level of despair.
I could sit here for hours conjuring up the most eloquent way to state this, but eloquence won’t make any difference to those of you who rely on network news or campaign ads, so I am going to say this the only way I know how at this moment:

You are ruining my life.

Every time I see a sign in support of a candidate who campaings on messages of homophobia, I think of the Minnesota youth who are so ridiculed for their sexual identity that they find no peace but in suicide.  Church and state are separated for a good reason, and I wish to heaven and back that you would learn to respect that.  Your beliefs are not the issue here, you have a right to them which is protected by the very constitution of this land, but your beliefs are not for everyone, and it’s morally wrong for you to assert them outside of your private life.  If you believe I am going to hell, fine.  I don’t.  Nothing that either of us can say or do will change the fact that religious beliefs are private, subjective and unable to be proven.  You believe homosexuality is a sin, fine.  I don’t.

What can be dealt with is healthcare, education, infrastructure, etc., and those who run for public office promising to represent your religious views are precisely those we do not need running what is actually relevant to government.  We need good education to create a talented workforce and flourishing economy.  We need accessible healthcare for every person no matter who.  We need good transportation systems, clean energy and water, better, safer agricultural and food production.  None of these things are in any way benefited by religious ideology.

There are candidates running for office right now that can help us achieve these important human necessities, candidates who understand that we can create new and sustainable jobs by focusing on creating these new and improved infrastructures.  They understand that education must be a funding priority, not something to hack apart because our misguided governor refuses to tax us equitably.  You know, I can remember the last time we benefited from having a few of us become wealthy while the rest toiled in misery: that was never.  There is no justifiable reason to continue allowing the schemers to profit on the labor of honest, hard working people.
I live in a small community of people who mind their own business and pay their bills.  They take the work they can get and make the best of it.  Like me, they would probably love to change careers.  Like me, they probably feel trapped.  But we do what we can.  The policies laid out by those politicians that run campaigns on intolerance are going to hurt us all, and it’s because they figured out that they can keep taking all of the extra money you and I could have for our own families by simply telling us that they will defend our morals.


I beg of you, at the core of your humanity and good will, please find the courage to reject this harmful practice.  Take pride in your right to vote, and vote for the candidate that will protect us, our environment and our education systems.  Bless your fellow Minnesotan with the quality of your civil participation by ensuring that firstly, our leaders and governors are concerned only with providing the basic standards of a good and fruitful life.  If, after that, you wish to attend the church of your choosing, pray to the god of your choosing, or participate in any of the innumerable hobbies, groups or social activities available to you, go with my full blessing, and I hope that you find joy, peace and fulfillment in your journey.


Your Neighbor


a philosophy for us

When mucking through the shitpile means learning how to pole vault, you sharpen the end of your pole and stab the rich.  Stab them right in the taxes.


We’re all selfish. That’s the bottom line.



Let’s have the next era, shall we?

A woman recently said, in my presence “All of these modern characters are so pathetic.” (referring to the current-era masculine gender norms)  I want to give you time with that before continuing.  Because the context is irrelevant, it’s the generational perception of the archetypal citizen of a given, let’s say, decade, that is really at play here.  Somewhat like the recent top 40 radio song inquiring as to the whereabouts of ‘the cowboys,’ this sentiment outlines a buddhist perspective that I feel is very relevant for our modern characters.  There is a perspective within buddhism that suggests our reality is not so much linear, but “dependently co-arisen,” or, if you will allow me to butcher eastern thought with my western conception of it: we are walking as we instantly come into existence.  Our path becomes as we create it.
All of these modern characters, be they laymen or politicians; literary devices or documentary subjects, are so pathetic because Rambo and Barbi wore us the hell out!
Now, it is simultaneously necessary and obsolete for me to quickly point out that I am a Generation X-er.  It is 2009 and I am 29.  No kids, no career.  Ambitions are numerous and fleeting.  Money slips through my fingers like credit card receipts getting tossed into the gas-station garbage to make the car tidier.
The reason it is necessary is because I am writing about a progressive movement that is either going to happen quite soon, or is woefully overdue or even missed outright.  The reason it is obsolete, is because I believe that it is one movement in a long, seemingly fated string of many.
There are no pioneers right now (cowboys, inventors, warlords, philosophers, “new penises”) because the riverbeds worn into the ground for us by history no longer present us with genuinely profound challenges.  I do not mean that our current global and social challenges are not profound, rather, that the issues they represent are “old hat.”  It is boring that the international global community has been so struck by ethically inept and dull-witted leadership.  It is boring and it takes too long to take over their offices.  It will be necessary for a major, and by major I mean nearly absolute, upheaval.  I know this because the reason I am writing this book, is because I know that there are millions of me out there, who just feel like they’re failing alone.  We’re all so afraid of MTV-style melodrama that we appear to be fine, but each of us would join the revolution, if it came to us.  Which is the number one problem to solve at the onset of any major revolution: who will champion it?  How can it be organized?  What will the repercussions be?  Is it arrogant to cause such an upheaval just because we are disillusioned?
I’m not going to hop on my horse just yet to announce the arrival of the Redcoats, because it’s 2009 and I have the internet.  However, am I waiting for you to start the revolution we both want, or are you waiting for me?  Tying this very quickly and awkwardly back into the buddhist perspective I believe can help us right now: you and I (us being the future revolutionaries we’re destined to become) are at an impass, which is the next nearest point to true freedom.  If we desire true freedom enough, we will both make the move eventually.  However, some of us will have to be inconvenienced at first, who is willing?

I just realized I am a fucking hypocrite

So should you.


let’s quit raping eachother, shall we?


Recent conversations regarding rape among peers got me wondering about some cold hard facts, and after much research, I’ve dug some up. The majority of women I know, and myself as well, have been acquaintance raped. I am, of course, including persistent resistance defeated by coercion,

1. the act of coercing; use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance.

in my definition of rape, as verbal and emotional consent are hardly second cousins. What troubles me the most is the lack of open social dialog which seems to further stigmatize the survivors (not necessarily speaking in the mortality sense here). Maybe it is so shameful because rape is the closest you can ever really come to actually taking something from a person in a near spiritual sense. I suppose that all depends on your view on what humans are, but for the sake of this post, let us say humans have souls that are the mysterious root of our emotional person-hood, okay? Okay.


Sexual aggression is not something I was ever told about growing up. I was never once told that I should never say yes to someone when I want to say no for fear of the no being ultimately disposed of or bringing on perceivable social consequence. I also have never been told NOT to do that to another person. In fact, shortly after my experience I repeated the behavior. The circumstances were muddy enough for my ego to play it off, but eventually I learned to call it what it was. For all I know the person I raped went and raped someone else. It just puzzles me the more I learn of how common sexual assault is, that sexuality and interpersonal dynamics are not more prominent family/social issues; visible, unstigmatized and talked out. For example:

Billy and Jane, now that you are growing up you may start to feel desires towards other people, but you need to know that it is never okay to force anyone to touch you or to be touched, and you never have to let someone force you to do things you don’t want. If someone you like wants you to do something you don’t want to, they are not being a very good friend and you need to tell someone.”

Now, I realize this only applies to less than 84% of reported assaults as some stranger rapes and adult to child rapes are simply beyond the victim’s control, but I feel that a broad anti-acquaintance-rape social mantra would drastically help bring the stats down:

In 2002: 247,730 sexual assaults were reported in the United States, 87,000 of which were completed rapes.

-84% of survivors know their rapists (acquaintance rape)

In 1999, only 28% of survivors reported the assault to police. (Criminal survivorization 2000: Changes 1999-2000 with Trends 1993-2000. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice. June 2001.)

Let’s assume that the current figure for reported incidence is higher, say… 30% are reported now, according to the Bureau of Justice in 2005 the number of incidents of sexual assault including verbal threats was 513,480 with an estimated 70% unreported. Let’s do some math:

100 / 30 = 3.33

513,480 x 3.33 =

1,711,600 sexual assaults. Just think about what the global stats must be…

Fun. It’s estimated that 1 in 6 (or 1 in 4 depending on the report) women will experience sexual assault and 1 in 33 men.

One final note: in a survey of college girls, only 30% of women who had an experience meeting the legal definition of rape chose to label it as so, mainly because they had been drinking and violence was not used. I submit that sticking something inside a person’s body against their will is quite violent.

(reposted from June LJ) all stats from the Bureau of Justice website

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